Visualization: Not as Easy as It Looks

There's more to it than just contemplating your navel.

There’s more to it than just contemplating your navel.

A Facebook friend of mind recently posted about the trouble she was having visualizing things and making them manifest.  Her post went something like “I’ve been visualizing like crazy, but all I have to show for it is a big pile of … dirt.”  The comments offered very nebulous advice.  “Keep trying the Goddess will provide.”  “The universe will always give you what you ask for.”  “You need to visualize your desires more clearly.”  None of the advice seemed very helpful to me and I’ve been successfully visualizing things and having them manifest for years.  Many new practioners have similar problems so I decided to write out my tips for successful visualization.  I hope they are helpful.

We make it sound so easy. ‘Just visualize what you want and the universe will give it to you.’ What a bunch of bullshit! It ranks up there with the love advice “As soon as you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get a boyfriend.” and the psych 101 game of “Stand in the corner and don’t think of a white elephant.” AHHHHH!!!!

I will tell you what helped me crack the ‘visualize it.” riddle.

First was advice from my friend Bob. Do something concrete to aid in your visualization. Bob had me write out a sentence in the present tense of what I wanted. {Here is what it is “I live in a three bedroom house with a basement, backyard and garage which I can comfortably afford). Then he told me to write that sentence once a day and to move 1% toward that goal every day. Another thing I did was build my “New House” playlist filled with songs that captured what I wanted in a house and home. I listened to that constantly. Finally, I made up a game with my sons. When we were bored or unhappy with the house we were living in, we would discuss decorating, organizing and furnishing our dream house. (Note – you can only do this with kids old enough to know that the dream house isn’t going to be the house you get. For example, even if everything works out perfectly we are never going to have a zoo in our backyard.)

No matter how big my dream house is, it will never have a zoo in the backyard.

No matter how big my dream house is, it will never have a zoo in the backyard.

Another good way to visualize something is to make sure you see it frequently every day.  This can be a picture that you put up where you will see it often – on your cubicle wall, by your bathroom mirror, or taped to your front door.  It can be a picture you draw, print off the computer or cut from a magazine.  If it is an abstract idea – love, abundance, balance – try using a Tarot card or other symbolic image.  So lesson one – do something physical to help keep yourself focused on your visualization.

A lot of times when we try to visualize bringing something into our lives we accidentally focus on the lack thereby reinforcing the absence and calling more of the same into our lives. This is a particularly huge landmine in money spells/visualizations. When trying to call money, we focus on what we need the money for and we summon more of the need to us instead of the money to fill the need. It took me forever to get past this hump.  What finally did the trick was the Cherokee parable about the two wolves. The grandfather is teaching the children and tells them a story. ‘Inside each person are two wolves locked in a constant battle. One is filled with joy, peace, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, goodness, joy, courage, strength and love.  The other is filled with anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false-pride evil, grief, bitterness, and hate.’ His grandson pipes up, ‘Which one wins?’ and the grandfather answers, ‘The one you feed.’

I love that story and the first time I heard it, it made me think about all the things I feed with negative talk, hyper-critical self-talk and just everyday run of the mill griping. So I learned to monitor my thoughts and my speech and even my Facebook posts. When I’d catch myself feeding something negative, I would stop myself and switch to feeding the opposite.  I’ll give you an example. When I would drive, particularly in the rain, I’d constantly fuss ‘Will I get pulled over?’ ‘What if I get in an accident?’ ‘What if something bad happens?’ You would not believe how many bad things I drew to myself with that self-talk. So when I catch myself beginning that mantra of evil, I say out loud. “No, I’m not going to feed that.” Then I’d say a quick prayer to the Goddess. “Mary, please bring me safely there and safely back.” The incidents of bad things happening while I drive has gone down dramatically.  Lesson two – be careful what you feed with your energy.

Finally, write a mantra.  This is similar to the sentence described above.  However, this is something you say out loud to yourself several times a day.  Mantras need to be positive, strong and in the present tense.  They can be direct and concrete like “I enjoy eating healthy foods” or abstract and intricate like “As I see the deeper meaning, of what happens in my life, I let go of blame for all the pain, as my growth is worth the price”. (from the Pele Report by

Kaypacha's Mantra for March 27th of this year.

Kaypacha’s Mantra for March 27th of this year.

Kaypacha.)  Rhyming can help if you have that gift.  I don’t so my mantra’s are more like the first example.  Whether you go for basic or flowery, a strong mantra can give your visualization the power boost it needs.

There are many ways to improve your visualization skills.  You can find books, videos and blogs galore to help you improve.  These few tips should give you a good foundation to start.  The main thing to remember is that just like a lot of seemingly simple things in life, visualization is a lot harder that it appears.  So give yourself a break.  Be patient and keep working at it.  You’ll get better at it and then life really will bring you what you need.

Blessed be.

Where I Have Been

I have been locked in the habit of rejecting what I have and focusing on what I DON'T have.

I have been locked in the habit of rejecting what I have and focusing on what I DON’T have.

I haven’t published a new blog since February.  I want to apologize to my three or four readers.  I did not mean to abandon you.  Many things have been happening in my life which have distracted me from writing.  Ironically, one of the things distracting me from writing has been worry over the fact I am not writing enough.  At least not writing for money enough.  I felt guilty about spending time on either of my blogs.  If I wasn’t getting paid up front for it, I had no business writing.  However, I forgot that just like a musician has to practice whether he is getting paid or not, a writer has to write in order to keep her skills honed.

Other more tangible, pentacle-like things have kept me from writing as well.  My whole family moved the first week of June.  Now one might think that an event like that would take up the first week of June.  Maybe a few days before and a few days after.  Not so, gentle readers.  From April on we have been focused, almost to the exclusion of all else, on figuring out who is moving where.  We had many hours of discussion about will we stay one household or split into two.  Then there were hours to find an affordable place which would accept us, our bad credit and our poor work records.  Once we found that place, there was packing, finding vehicles to move, finding strong people to help.  We, also, had to clean out the place we found.  That was a Herculean task which isn’t quite finished even now.  All in all, I expect us to finally be settled in by Labor Day Weekend.  Hopefully.

At the risk of boring you, I will tell you a bit about our new house.  It is a small house on a very busy street.  I think of the line from “Pink Houses.”  “He’s got the interstate running through his front yard. You know he thinks that he’s got it so good.”  Well, I do think I have it so good.  For one thing, it’s a house, not an apartment.  If you have ever lived in an apartment for any length of time, you know what a luxury that is.  For another, our landlord is a laid back kind of guy who is going to let us do anything we want to the place.  We already have a lot of plans.  “Why would you do all that work on a place you’re just renting?”  I hear you ask, gentle readers.  We’re sort of looking at it as a dress rehearsal for when we each get our own place.  Another thing I love about our new place is that what few neighbors we have leave us alone.  There is, also, the deep back yard.  When you go back behind the garage it is easy to forget there’s a highway in the front yard.  We, also, have a large front porch where we can sit and watch the world go by.

As you can tell, I love my new house and am excited about our future here.  There are some downsides to it.  Nothing is perfect.  The

We have a lot of plans for the new house.  We are just going to have to be patient, work hard and wait for the fruits of our labor to grow.

We have a lot of plans for the new house. We are just going to have to be patient, work hard and wait for the fruits of our labor to grow.

downsides are deal-able.  Especially since I am trying to reprogram myself regarding how I look at downsides.  I am trying to let go of what is NOT and focus on what IS.  This house does NOT have the exact number of bedrooms my large family needs.  Okay, that’s something to work on.  Everyone has a place to sleep and that will work for now.  What this house DOES have is an affordable rent.  I choose to let that make me happy and I choose to NOT let the lack of bedrooms make me depressed.  I choose to savor the fact that I have a front porch to sit on during summer evenings and I choose NOT to dwell on the fact that mosquitoes are eating me alive while I sit there.  Finally, I will focus on the fact that I am writing and worry less about getting paid for every word I type.

It is challenging to maintain my mental space in this new frame work.  I am sure that I will fall back into obsessing about what we don’t have.  When I catch myself doing that I will have to force it back into the new pattern until it becomes my default settings and obsessive worry becomes awkward and uncomfortable.  Wish me luck.

Thank you for your patience, my loyal three or four readers.  I will post a new article soon.

A word about the pictures.  The first is the work of the very talented David Groehring and can be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/5188219293/in/photostream/

The second is from the Spiral Tarot; both the deck and companion book were created by Kay Steventon.